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When I first got this I laughed so hard I cried! What's even funnier is that I'm from that era, so I could relate all that much more. Now myself along with millions of other guys back then had the 3 inch high white belt...only I think that the white ones were more like 2-1/2 inches high. But hey, back then? Who was counting?
I'm going to keep the comments as I got them verbatim...

Last weekend I was putting in a ceiling fan for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists we found something, what we found was this:

A J.C. Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often that blog fodder just falls in my life...but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking.

I thumbed through it quickly and there was my next dining room set, which is apparently made by sticking upholstery to old barrels:

Also, I'm totally getting this for my bathroom.

There's plenty more home furnishings where that came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic!

Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school.

Just look at the belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be 3 inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:

The kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:

This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around "your cell in D-block". Even then, the only reason you should put this on is because the warden made you, and as a one piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.

Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "no pants" Saget has his hand in the other guys pocket. In this case he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened; or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:

It looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:

If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

How to get your ass kicked every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day:

Dear God in Heaven, I don't think that color exists anywhere in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search for Value Ends at Penney's.

As does your search for chest hair.

And this....seriously. No words.

Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. WHAT. THE. F*CK. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also judging by the sheer amount of his/her outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. This couple looks happy, don't they?

And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits.That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junks fights against that fabric."

Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece terry cloth jumpsuit:

I could go on, but I'm tired and my eyes hurt from this little trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I'll leave you with this tasteful little number:

Man, that's sexy.

Comments (21) | Add Comment | Link

At 05:19, March 25, 2008, libertine said:

Even back then, I wouldn't have been caught dead in any of that.

I didn't dress a whole lot differently then than I do now: jeans, t shirts, sneakers or boots, leather jacket.

I do remember some of my high school teachers wearing plaid jacketed suits, like the ones Herb Tarlek wore on WKRP. Back then, we used to joke about suits like that, saying that it looked the wearer had robbed a couch for cloth to make the suit with.

And I never wore no damned white belt, either.

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At 06:17, March 25, 2008, Patty said:
	LOL, funny, but oh so true, I've seen someone I believe in every outfit on display, in fact I probably wore a few myself. What a trip. Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 06:21, March 25, 2008, texican said:

We shopped at Penny's a lot when I was a kid. I wore the Toughskins and those Winner II running shoes. No wonder I was bullied a lot...lol.

That Saget guy reminds me more of Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap.

The plaid jacket ad reminded me of Herb, too. It also reminded me of the old Johnny Carson collection ads where they would show all the combos you could make from two jackets and three slacks...or whatever.

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At 06:39, March 25, 2008, Eclectablog said:
	I'd comment more but I can't see through the tears of hearty laughter in my eyes, obscuring my vision. Holy shit, that's seriously good comedy. And I think my uncles and aunts owned half that stuff... Thanks for making my night. Phew... Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 10:49, March 25, 2008, lisalisabobisa said:
	Oh wow....talk about going back in time. I never dressed like that either, but I remember those styles....lol And the colors, good god....very painful to the eyes... Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 01:30, March 26, 2008, Aielman said:

Gotta love the 70's. Middle of a sexual revolution and we're wearing clothes that GUARANTEE you weren't getting laid.

My family actually owned that exact barrel table and chairs as our kitchen dinette. We at all our meals at it. There's an inch and a half space between the table top and the barrel that my brother used to put unwanted food into. The amazing part is it didn't reek enough for us to notice until we moved and rolled the thing out of the house leaving a trail of rotted/dried out broccoli, liver, peas, etc, hehe.

Man...those women in the last shot look like they came off the Stepford Wives box cover, hehe.

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At 02:05, March 26, 2008, Rubicon said:

Will....I'll just bet that somewhere in your closet of closets from back then you'd find a white belt, just like the one I'm talking about.
I too was a jeans, T-shirt and sneakers guy, even wore straight leg pants and everyone thought I was either weird or a redneck. But I did have that one stupid belt...and so did you! You're just too sceered to fess up to it! lol

Patty...I think most of those clothes were geared for the trendy adults of the day. Glad I wasn't one of 'em.

Rene...I remember the Johnny Carson collection ads where you could mix-and-match almost everything. I hadn't thought about Herb Tarlek in a long time. WARP was definitely one of the shows of the day.

"E"...I had no doubts that you would cry as hard as I did when you saw this. I'm still laughing!

Bobisa...could you imagine looking at that catalog today? I'd be looking for the volume control to turn down the colors!

Aiel...if you look at the girl on the left on the last picture, I almost positive that that was the standard uniform for all Flight Attendants for Southwest Airlines back then. Though then we would've been more correct by calling them Stewardess'.

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At 02:24, March 26, 2008, texican said:
	Haaahahaha...I remember when Southwest first started their service. When they expanded to include the Rio Grand Valley, you could fly to Houston for about $20. The stewardesses wore those orange hot pants with white go-go boots... Look what I found: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7JA...R7JApjgIGw Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 02:26, March 26, 2008, littleMissConfused said:
	OH MY GOD! I had no idea they could make so many suits out of polyester! I am so glad I was only 12 back then....My mom shopped at Penny's all the time....I think most of my cloths were as colorful as those! Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 02:38, March 26, 2008, Aielman said:
	I don't remember having a white belt, but I do remember the 2 inch platform shoes and pants with bell bottoms so big that I could have smuggled Mexicans cross the border under them. Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 02:43, March 26, 2008, texican said:
	Yup...Levi's used to make those elephant bells. I think I had a pair or two of those. Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 02:59, March 26, 2008, littleMissConfused said:
	sadly a lot of that is coming back in style...I don't think this time around you will be able to buy it for those 1977 prices! Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 06:30, March 26, 2008, Eclectablog said:
	I had many a pair of Levi's monster bells back in my long-haired hippy days, fer sure. I embroidered the shit outta them pants. Patches, peace signs, American flags, the whole dang thing. Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 10:24, March 27, 2008, Rubicon said:

Rene, right before I got to your second comment I was thinking of elephant bells. Never owned a pair because it seemed more of a "chic" thang.
But I do remember the "hot" orange pants with the white "go-go boots" well!!! I flew Southwest a number of times back then and remember being able to get to "planet" Houston for 20 bucks. You could even get a drink in before landing.

Before they fenced it off we could go around Bachman Lake where one of the runways began and the Southwest flights would make their final approach, (this was at Love Field), and lay back on a grassy knoll, fire up some doobs' and the planes would scream over us at about 30-40 feet when landing.Those were the days!
We also used to frequent an apartment complexes pool where a lot of the Southwest stewardesses roomed together....they were freakin' HOT!!! Hot pants and go-go boots or not. Of course back then that was the thang!

"E"...so many people I knew embroidered, as did I on one of my "Levi" jackets, but also lots of folks studded their stuff.
Not only did I have the proverbial white belt, but my brother and I had two pairs of the standard "Monkey's" double-breasted shirts....one in blue and the other in red. Man you talk about the envy of junior high!

Aiel and his 2" platforms...I can just see it now! Tryin' to dance like John Travolta while smugglin' aileeens.
I could never wear platform shoes just like I can't wear cowboy boots...cowboy boots just kill my feet, guess my toes don't like being all scrunched up or sumpin'.

Yeah Lisa....the polyester companies were rollin' in it back in those days! And you're right, some of those styles are coming back. More girls than not that I see these days are wearing those low-rider jeans, and I gotta say, in todays look, at least to me, it's a real "figure" ruiner. I mean...I see girls that have really nice figures but quickly ruin them with those things, not real sure why though.
And then...oh my God and then...there's the girls that wear those low-riders and their bellies hang over them, or their big butt-cheeks are hanging out! Now c'mon...gimme a break would yaz!

Anyone remember the "Nero" coats? And most of them were paisley? Remember paisley shirts? I know I had a few...or maybe more. But I did have one Nero coat that was pretty cool but you could only really wear it at certain times. I was much more partial to my Levi jacket and my Levi long-sleeve shirts.

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At 11:01, March 27, 2008, libertine said:
	That's "Nehru", and that was in the 60s, not the 70s. And, no, I never wore a white belt. Trust me on that. I've never liked the color white for any clothes at all, let alone belts. Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 11:31, March 27, 2008, Rubicon said:
	That was humor man...you know, like messin' with ya? I was only asking if anyone remembered the stuff. Geez.... Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 05:12, March 30, 2008, DeeJay said:
	Sadly, I can remember a whole bunch of those awful fashions! LOL I don't recall ever wearing any of those things, but I do remember a couple of our bathrooms that had fuzzy crap on the toilet. Yuk!!!!! Add Comment \| Link \| \|

At 07:23, April 2, 2008, Chandramoon said:
	I was walking around in caftans and bare feet in those days and never brushed my hair!! What a mess.... Add Comment \| Link \| \|